The people have spoken. Jesse McCartney is officially SO CREEPY HE'S AWESOME.

update...

The weather here is awful today. Instead of elaborating I will focus on the positive and do a little update.

Ruby:

Experiencing life from a few more views. She is loving it. And we are loving all her cute smiles that she so freely gives. Parker:

Experiencing the freedom that he has while I feed Ruby. Today he ran in her room and told me he was going potty. He never came back. I went in there to check on him and the toilet was full of a roll and a half of toilet paper (plus what he left behind...). He was singing as he was unrolling more! Needless to say I fished out nasty toilet paper into a bag. At least I caught it before he tried to flush it. Then he hugged me and said, "I wub you mom." Oh well. Can't stay mad at him. He also wore a tie to church on Sunday. It was cute. Before then he has always protested the tie.
Sophie:

Experiencing the joys of dreaming big. On her list lately... she wants to be a gymnast and a rock star when she grows up. I wish her all the luck in the world. She even told me she wants back up singers. As for the gymnast thing... I took her to the last Utah Ladies Gymnastics meet along with 15,000 other people. She ate it right up.John:

Experiencing the life of a green thumbed gardener. It is that time of year. We go to J&L Garden Store weekly, he checks out gardening books from the library, and we plant some goodies to harvest this summer. Love the garden.

Ashley:

Experiencing the life of the late twenty somethings almost thirty with three kids. The other day I found myself rocking out to my favorite song of late... ( Jesse McCartney's Leavin'.) I was driving in my mini van singing and dancing with the sun roof open. Then I drove past our neighbors house where their 17 year old son looked at me with a "what the heck?" look. I realized two things:

1. I am clearly not acting my age.

2. I am okay with it. Only because my kids are not old enough to tell me how lame I am yet. Until then...

looking back...

( the one and only heidi louise tagged me. sixth folder. sixth pic. here is what it is...)

man. i love this picture. i love this guy and i love remembering how funny sophie was at this age. this picture was taken at disneyland on the pirates of the carribean ride. soph was about 18 months. we went at the end of beach week that year. makes me miss the beach, being tan, and disneyland. three of my favorite things. not to mention two of my favorite people in the world!

Why?

Why does the outside of my house look like winter...
When the inside of my house clearly is celebrating spring? Aaahh. If only I got to choose. I would choose Spring.

At least my little Ruby has donned a fine pair of "shit kickers" (sorry Mom) . That seems to make it all seem awesome- weather and all. How these three months have flown. I sure love this little peanut.

blessed day

We blessed Ruby on Sunday. I loved wrapping my not so little baby up in my blanket that I bought in Bethlehem years ago, while she was wearing a beautiful 100 year old vintage blessing gown that my thoughtful mother in law bought in Wales when she picked John up from his mission. I got teary snapping the buttons up the back while my own grandma held Ruby. This little girl is lucky- she (and John and I and the rest of our little munchkins) has quite the support group, and for that we feel most blessed. Thanks everyone for a great day. It was a great Sunday filled with family, friends and spectacular food. And after the festivities were over and the house emptied out I realized just how tired I was. All of my kids were asleep by 7:30pm and John and I crawled up on the couch and watched the jazz game. I started looking through my pictures of the day and realized that there were none of John and I together. So we took one. I need to be better about taking pictures I suppose. Less talking, more picture taking?
I believe I was asleep approximately 10 minutes later. What a beautiful day.

heaven

Parker is potty trained. Day and night. To celebrate he got a trip to Target, unrushed in the toy aisle. He picked a Cars puzzle, and a ten pack of match box cars. He's in heaven and so am I.

people said...

It seemed the whole time I was pregnant with Ruby people who had three or more kids would often say to me with a smile, " Oh man, three is the one that put me over the edge." or " Wow. Three kids did us in." or " they just smiled and muttered, "yah, three was tough, good luck." Of course in my uber emotional state of pregnancy being, I always took offense to these statements. I was so discouraged by them.

Not anymore. Now I savor them. I ask everyone I know if three put them over the edge. I ask them if it was number three that just did them in. And I willingly tell the whole truth when anyone asks how it is or how I am doing- sharing more than they want to know.. that yes indeed three has catapulted me over the edge.

Don't get me wrong. I love my three kids. And I imagine as Ruby rouses more from her cute sleepy state that I will continue to love my three kids more than I ever knew I could love anything... but I am also sure that I will remain somewhat in this under water feeling.

I have reflected upon this state of my life quite a bit lately. The last two Sundays I have been asked to come speak to the Young Women in my ward, and the Young Women in my mother-in- laws ward. The topic- Finding joy in being a young mother/ realizing your potential at this time in your life.

To be honest. I laughed after I got off the phone the first time. Perhaps I am the wrong person to ask for this topic... too postpardum, still too fat, still sleep deprived, still thrown off, living in a serious mess, still trying to balance getting anywhere close to on time, the list could go on and on.

Perhaps God needed me to think about the joys of being a young mother with three kids that maybe in retrospect could have each been spaced about 2 more years apart than they were. ( he he) And here is what I have learned...

I am over the edge. My house is a mess. My marriage feels like the last thing on the list. My stomach hangs too far over my pants. My eyes close at any given time. I raise my voice too often. I fall super short in sooo many areas.

and yet.... my heart is so full. I couldn't love these little ones more. And admist all this craziness, I do feel immense joy.

Thanks God. I needed that reminder.