John and Ashley

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

heaven

Parker is potty trained. Day and night. To celebrate he got a trip to Target, unrushed in the toy aisle. He picked a Cars puzzle, and a ten pack of match box cars. He's in heaven and so am I.

Monday, February 23, 2009

It seemed the whole time I was pregnant with Ruby people who had three or more kids would often say to me with a smile, " Oh man, three is the one that put me over the edge." or " Wow. Three kids did us in." or " they just smiled and muttered, "yah, three was tough, good luck." Of course in my uber emotional state of pregnancy being, I always took offense to these statements. I was so discouraged by them.

Not anymore. Now I savor them. I ask everyone I know if three put them over the edge. I ask them if it was number three that just did them in. And I willingly tell the whole truth when anyone asks how it is or how I am doing- sharing more than they want to know.. that yes indeed three has catapulted me over the edge.

Don't get me wrong. I love my three kids. And I imagine as Ruby rouses more from her cute sleepy state that I will continue to love my three kids more than I ever knew I could love anything... but I am also sure that I will remain somewhat in this under water feeling.

I have reflected upon this state of my life quite a bit lately. The last two Sundays I have been asked to come speak to the Young Women in my ward, and the Young Women in my mother-in- laws ward. The topic- Finding joy in being a young mother/ realizing your potential at this time in your life.

To be honest. I laughed after I got off the phone the first time. Perhaps I am the wrong person to ask for this topic... too postpardum, still too fat, still sleep deprived, still thrown off, living in a serious mess, still trying to balance getting anywhere close to on time, the list could go on and on.

Perhaps God needed me to think about the joys of being a young mother with three kids that maybe in retrospect could have each been spaced about 2 more years apart than they were. ( he he) And here is what I have learned...

I am over the edge. My house is a mess. My marriage feels like the last thing on the list. My stomach hangs too far over my pants. My eyes close at any given time. I raise my voice too often. I fall super short in sooo many areas.

and yet.... my heart is so full. I couldn't love these little ones more. And admist all this craziness, I do feel immense joy.

Thanks God. I needed that reminder.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

introducing...

... Bee's Knees Photography. My talented, and extremely beautiful friend Heidi took some really cute pictures of my kids after Ruby was born. Thanks again Heidi. We sure love you and that family of yours.

Monday, February 16, 2009

America's dangerous obsession comes to my defense

Today I did not notice anyone texting or talking on the phone while I drove to or from work. "Good day on the roads" you mights say. Unlikely, I respond. I would bet the bank that I passed someone on the phone, I just don't notice anymore. It's common place. Like musicians with eyeliner. Plus, how am I supposed to notice things like that, stay less than ten miles per hour over the speed limit, and carry on my own cell phone conversations at the same time? Not possible. Which might make my point. I am trying to do too much at once. And I'm doing everything a little worse because of it.
On the positive side, the uptick in cell phone related car accidents has led to numerous scientific studies about the human brain and multi-tasking. Now multi-tasking is not exactly my bailiwick-I have never really been a great single tasker, frankly- so these tests have intrigued me.

And, it appears, finally vindicated me.

I have, in past moments of introspection, wondered why I can't fold the laundry while I recap the months new music releases with Tyler on the phone,
or keep working while I tell a story.
I have wondered why I can't watch a Jazz or Steelers game and still acknowledge the existence of a world outside the game,
or put the kids to bed while I consider this blog post.
or breathe air and not make a gigantic mess at the same time.
Why am I so spectacularly inefficient?
Why can't I do more?
The question has haunted me, as it has many men.
But no longer.

"The human brain has a crippling inability to do two things at once."*

Says neuroscientist Rene Marois, PhD.

"Case Closed. "**

Says I.

Thank you, science.

*I found this in February's "O" magazine, of all places. Like an atheist finding solace in the bible.

** well, not entirely closed. I have substantial empirical evidence suggesting that my wife can in fact do a mind blowing number of things at once, which forces me to conclude that either A) neuroscientist Rene Marois, PhD is wrong or B) my wife is functioning on something other than a human brain. This wrinkle warrants further investigation.

Up next: album of the month. I know you're excited. I feel it too.

Friday, February 13, 2009

love and heartbreak in six words

John bought me a cool book this week. I am sure most of you have heard of the idea. ( I hadn't but then again... I am usually behind the times.. anyway). The book is called Six Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak.

Explanation on Amazon: From the editors of the New York Times bestseller Not Quite What I Was Planning comes another collection of terse true tales—this time simple sagas exploring the complexities of the human heart. Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak contains hundreds of personal stories about the pinnacles and pitfalls of romance. Brilliant in their brevity, these insightful slivers of passion, pain, and connection capture every shade of love and loss—six words at a time.

Six words. People describing love and heartbreak. It is super interesting and fun to read. (Some are a bit out there and wierd for my liking.) Here are some of my favorites.

In his smile I saw forever.

He still needs me at sixty-four.

Thank you for breaking my heart.

My life's accomplishments? Sanity and you.

We belly laugh every single day.

Lucky me. I found the one.

Silently suffered his facial hair experiments. ( perhaps I could have written that one.. but it wouldn't say silent.)

John, being the closet romantic that he is wrote me my own, and wrote it in the cover of the book.

Knows me. And loves me still.

And so on this day of love- I write my own six word memoirs for love, and for my love.

Still get butterflies when he sings.

Three kids later. Still in love.