IT'S 3 AM* and I'm ready to make an endorsement

It appears that Matchbox Twenty lead singer Rob Thomas isn't the only one who thinks a persons very late night/very early morning behavior is important. 3 AM, according to ads run by all three remaining candidates for president, is to presidential politics what 4:20 is to potheads. A time more solemn than the rest. Your actions in that sacred hour are a foolproof reflection of who you really are. (A brief recap of the 3 am ad series is included in the footnotes for anyone interested and/ or really bored.)

And, as far as I'm concerned, they are absolutely right.
America is at a critical crossroads and this election is of utmost importance. Late night phone comfort is a tried and true presidential litmus test.**
I can be quiet no longer.
I must endorse.
There is no doubt in my mind that one person is more comfortable and more qualified than the rest to answer that 3 am phone call- my mom, Cori Connors.

Cori's experience is second to none. She served faithfully as the wife of Farmington city councilman and mayor Dave Connors (happy birthday last Sunday, dad) for 12 years.
She learned from these tough years. Many times she has told me the story of her goodwill trip to Centerville. Under a storm of gunfire she had to run, head down, from her minivan to the Target Superstore, where she bought grapes and gave them to the troops.
But, to be frank, none of that matters.
All you need to know about Cori Connors is she is always up a 3 am. And comfortable on the phone.
In fact, just yesterday I was up late reading A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Towes (pretty good book, though not recommended if you are a practicing Mennonite.) It was about midnight. Ash and the kids had been asleep for awhile. Suddenly the phone rang. Who would call this late?

Me: Hello.
Cori: Hey, it's me.
Me: Hey, is everything ok?
Cori: Yeah. Ani Difranco is on Letterman.
Me: Oh.
Cori: Gotta go. love you, bye.
Me: Bye.

Yep, Cori will call her son, even in the long hours of the night, to transfer data that she thinks may be interesting to him.*** It may have been years since I spoke the names Ani Difranco or David Letterman to my mother in conversations. Yet, she thought selflessly at that late hour, "John might like this." That's the type of woman we need running this country.
So there you have it, America.
You want someone ready at 3 am?

I give you Cori Connors.


The "it's 3 am I must be lonely" Presidential ad campaign recap

The 3 AM ads are a series of ads run by this year presidential candidates. Hilary's first ad is widely believed to have slowed Obama's growing support in Ohio and helped her win that State's primary. It pushed the "does Obama have enough experience to be president" debate to the front page. Should she win the democratic nomination that ad will be talked about by pundits and idiots like me for years to come. To this point there have been four other ads responding to that original ad. They have been run in Texas, Ohio, and Pennsylvania mostly. But, you can see them on you tube. All of them are very strange.

First Hillary ad- (intense, but still presidential, music in background) It 3 am and your kids are sleeping safely, but in the white house a scary red phone is ringing, who's ready to answer...me! because red is my favorite color and I put that phone there when I was living in the white house last time. I have the experience. Roll that up and smoke it Barak. Vote Hilliary.
Obama response- it's 3 am and Hillary is crazy. She voted to give the president power to start the war in Iraq. Don't vote for her. We don't need experience, we need good judgement.
Girl in footage from original Hillary ad response- Hey, remember that Hillary Clinton ad with the girl asleep at 3 AM? That was me 10 years ago. I think I shot it for a cough syrup ad or something. Anyway, The Clinton Campaign bought it as stock footage. Now I'm 18 and I'm voting for Barak. Trust the sleeping kid, she knows best. Hillary is just trying to scare you. Vote hope, not fear.
Second Hillary ad- It's 3 am and the red phone is ringing again. But now it a major economic crisis. Yeah, they sometimes happen at 3 am. And Jon McCain would never answer that call because he is an idiot when it comes to money.
McCain Response- it's 3 am and Hillary is crazy. She'll raise your taxes. Vote for me.
to be continued....

*really it's 8 pm

**not actually true.

***Earlier versions of this post wrongly accused Cori of calling "past midnight." These comments were the source of popular outcry (see comments by Cori and Brandi.) Historical records show Letterman ended just after 11:30 pm on April 1st. And Difranco was actually on Leno that night. (still, I think mom said Letterman) Anyway, changes have been made in the name of historical accuracy.