today i shall ramble. just cause it is late and when it is late and i am tired, i like to talk, talk, talk. i lay down in bed and i just start talk, talk, talking. john, bless his heart, always tries for a minute and then he is snoring. ah.
i feel like some days are emotional roller coasters. today was one of them. i cried a bit, and i laughed a lot. so i guess that is good.
i've been trying to figure out what my 20 year old self did with my praxis (test you have to take to be a teacher) test scores. the national test place purged their records after ten years, byu doesn't have them, jordan school district doesn't have them and the utah state office of education doesn't have them. hence... the tears. looks like i am taking the test again. boo.
upon searching for the missing test scores in all the files in my basement i found a whole lot of awesome crap that i managed to keep... BUT NOT MY STUPID TEST SCORES!!! i found an actual file folder (that was empty) that the title was "hot guys". i think it was from jr. high. i found my jr. high transcripts, my ACT score, water polo plays, letters from water polo coaches in california, my wedding planner, a huge box of cassette tapes, all 700 files of 2nd grade teaching material, jerusalem trinkets, elementary school projects, a whole folder of stuff i hung on the walls of my first college dorm room, senior summaries and letters from people i love. and lots more. lots. i know. i am pretty sure all of this would make my mother in law very proud, in a "i hold onto things because they are meaningful" way, but seriously? how did i not hold onto my test scores.
insert me banging my head on the keyboard.
okay. this quickly went from me rambling to me ranting. maybe i should go to bed now. three good things before i do:
john sensed my stress and cleaned the kitchen for me. forget the flowers, the gifts, the anything. clean for me and it just warms my little heart. love him.
ruby told me she loved me today, totally unsolicited. "i yuv you mommy" i may have cried over that too.
rummaging through all that crap, was frustrating, no lie. but kinda happy and fun too. a roller coaster day.
now i guess i just buck up, quit my crying and re-take the test.
10 comments:
ugh! i feel your pain. at the time, your 20 year old self thought she was putting them somewhere safe & memorable.
and i'm with you. nothing makes me love jason more than when he cleans something so i don't have to. i'm fluent in the "acts of service" love language.
good luck retaking the praxis. i remember that test.
grrr....i hate things like that, ash.seems like i can't find things when i need them most!
the question is: did you find many notes from clayton? you were the EXPERT note-writer, m'friend...best handwriting, illustrations, and 10-ten cute boy lists!
ha!
It endears you to me even more than possible that you a) still have files and tapes, as do I and b) that a file was labled hot guys.
It really made my morning.
But...so dumb about the stupid praxis. The fact that you were qualified at 20 to take it should be enough to never warrant a re-take. I really can't believe the USOE doesn't keep record. Have you tried contacting the Praxis people directly? When I took the MAT for Grad school, I know they mentioned that they keep records for a certain amount of time, although I have no clue if that is similar with yours.
I'm sorry. Such a bummer.
Oh man Ash that is awful! I'm glad you at least got to revisit some awesome memories in the process but so bummed you couldn't find the scores. And that ruby of yours is pretty dang cute! It's fun to hear her little voice when she talks.
I wonder if it's in Mom's garage or basement? Might be worth a try digging through to see. ;). I'm so sorry - how incredibly frustrating! And weird that no other schools kept a record of the score. Kinda dumb they make you take it and then don't keep a record of it. Boo. Love you and hope things work out ok. You are an amazing woman, Ash.
Typical...where do things go when we really need them??
Good luck darling...we love you all!
Laughter, tears....sometimes you just have to let it all out! I am sorry you can't find your test scores....that royally sucks! Let me know if I can come clean your kitchen for you! Loves!!!
I would love to sit in that basement with you and go through files of old memories. I am curious about two things - first when did the hot guys folder get emptied? Before or after John? And second what did you save from our dorm room? :) Lots of good times..... I am sure your test scores will show up. I just hope it is before you retake the test and not after. Good luck with that! Miss you!
P.S. I would love to hear an update from your get together when Nancy was out there. I haven't heard from anyone in so long. How is everyone?
you poor thing. i'd be in tears too! I hope you find them!!
I'm sorry Ash. As I was reading your post, I kept thinking how many times I've had similar frustrations (I seem to hold on to everything unimportant but can't locate Izabella's social security card!).
Any luck with finding it?
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